We’ve all come across weird eBay listings in our time. But what if we collected all the weird, unfortunate, and vaguely upsetting items up for grabs on the online marketplace? That’s exactly what one Instagram account, called @eBayBae, has done and it only leaves us asking more questions about the people behind the listings.
Unexplainable fashions, oddball inventions, and creepy product designs make this list of the strangest things people have found for sale on eBay. Take a glimpse into the weird and wonderful private lives of strangers through the bizarre items they’ve listed. Just don’t be surprised if you end up with more questions than answers!
The 18-Inch Reborn Sphynx Cat Doll in Silicone With Clothes – $111.68
Somewhere in the world, it is perfectly acceptable to collect and care for creepily realistic, hairless, silicone Sphynx cat dolls. As hard as it may be for some of us to believe, these “toys” can be highly sought after by doll collectors who take pleasure in dressing up and playing mom to a little wrinkly feline.
We’re wondering how someone gets into a hobby like this. Perhaps they just start out as your average cat lover, but things quickly get out of hand? And why is this 18-inch kitty being sold in the first place? Did the owner find a better replacement? Whatever the reason, they want over $100 dollars for the silicone Sphynx.
The Ultra-Realistic Silicone Rubber Female Mask – $459.00
We didn’t realize that people actually wanted to look like the Wayans brothers in 2004s White Chicks. But this silicone rubber face mask proves that people will pay a pretty price to have all new facial features complete with a skin-like texture. In fact, they are often bought by people who are experimenting with their gender, but they’re rarely as scary as this particular listing.
As you can see, this eBay item comes complete with ultra elasticity so that the mask moves with your own facial muscles. Why the seller thought this photo would entice online shoppers we’ll never know. But at any rate, you can buy this model for the meager sum of $459.00. As one Instagram commenter put it, this look is “Me going out on a Tuesday, already drunk in bad drag.”
The Inflatable Sitting Position Travel Pillow in Large – $53.71
“This is a must-cop,” wrote one Instagram user, and it leaves us guessing what they’d use it for. Sure, it’s just a fancy travel pillow to some. But those holes for your hands to rest have us thinking this item might be a lot less innocent than it seems. Why is there a compartment for you to hide your hands?
Perhaps you have a better idea as to why someone would opt for this travel pillow above the rest. Perhaps you even want to buy it! It can be yours for just over $50 dollars, but it has a few drawbacks. Not only does this sleeping aid make it harder to pack light, but it’ll also put everyone around you on edge. Maybe it’s perfect for social distancing, as you can be sure no one is going to want anything to do with you.
The Mattel Medieval Magician Bearded Ken Doll – $48.99
Looking for a good deal? This naked Ken doll could be yours at the heavily discounted price of $48.99, saving you a whopping 30% off of the original price. We’re surprised someone didn’t snap it up sooner. Not only does this Barbie “magician” have gorgeous golden locks, but he has an extremely long beard to match. It’s no surprise he has no clothes on considering how his beard goes down to his thighs.
But if we’re being serious, why is the Ken doll being sold without a stitch of clothing? What has the seller done with the clothes it originally came with? And who knows why this freaky hairy kids toy was even a thing to begin with. We expected better from Mattel and the Barbie multiverse.
The Pink Fuzzy Mohair Extreme Catsuit With Balaclava – $430.00
Tired of high heating bills? It’s not a problem any more thanks to the one-off payment of $430 for a hand-knitted full-body catsuit. And when we say full-body, we mean it. From your eyelids to your toenails, every part of your body will be toasty warm, if not drenched in sweat.
That’s because every part of you will be encased in this unique fashion item, but you are spared small holes for breathing, seeing, and quick bathroom breaks. We’re still in the dark as to how you’d get this thing on, but we’ll leave that to the buyers to figure out. If you’re thinking that $430 sounds steep, bear in mind that the $45 shipping fee is included in the price. Bargain!
The Motorcycle and Scooter Raincoat Poncho for Two – $54.00
Listen, we get it. It’s not nice to get caught in the rain when you’re on your motorbike. It’s downright annoying and a total inconvenience. But whatever you do, don’t feel compelled to ever buy the motorbike raincoat for two. We can safely say that riding around in this thing could be a visual hazard for all the other road users who see you.
Of course, it does offer a great amount of rain protection. Not only are you covered from head to knee, but so is your backseat passenger, and even the majority of the bike. Not to mention, it’s sold on eBay for over $50 which in our opinion is way too much for an irresponsibly large piece of nylon.
The Social Distancing Aparatus Attached at the Neck – $119.43
This last year has been tough on all of us socially. So why not make it that bit more difficult by wearing this one-of-a-kind social distance-keeping outfit accessory? We know people have a hard time sticking to the “‘stay at least six feet away” rule, so a tool like this can really come in handy.
And something tells us that people will be keeping extra distant from you if you’re out wearing this. The funniest thing about it is that the model in the photo has to walk in the middle of the road as that’s the only place it’ll fit. Forget bumping into other people – you’ll be bumping into trees and hedges if you tried to walk on the pavement!
The Multi-Colored Pack of Six Squish Discs – $42.98
Are these squishy discs meant to be breast implants or ice packs? Instagram users want to know. Whatever they in fact are, they’re being sold as simply “squish discs.” And who wouldn’t want a set of six in multicolors? Well, that’s exactly what this seller thought when he listed them on the online marketplace.
They do actually look fun, but maybe they’re marketing to the wrong audience? We can imagine these squish discs would be more desirable for babies and children rather than seniors but hey, what do we know. Considering how they’re selling them for over $40, these sellers obviously know something that we don’t.
The Vintage “Frozen Moments” Spilled Coffee on Floppy Disk By Geoffrey Rose – $214.94
Before you make any quick assumptions about what is on sale here; pause. They’re not offering you a chance to buy a coffee-stained floppy disk, they’re selling this piece as the solid sculpture that it is. That’s right, this piece is the perfect missing touch to your overly organized home office decor.
We have to applaud the artist, Geoffrey Rose, for thinking outside the box. But if we get real for a second, who in their right mind would ever want to display a sculpture like this? To us, it seems like an ideal joke present for someone who you don’t really like that much. That’ll be $214.94, please.
The Handmade Natural Crystal Rose Quartz Face Mask – $85.99
We’re in 2021 now, so it’s time to start living like it. For those who can afford it, gone are the days where you would pick up a single-use face mask in-line at the supermarket. If you’re on eBay, you can buy a questionable “healing” face mask made exclusively from small pieces of rose quartz crystal.
And as this product image shows, it’s not just for the face. You can even grab a rose quartz full-body mask if you look hard enough for it. When it comes to actual healing or cosmetic benefits… the jury’s still out. If you’re still willing to experiment with the seller’s claims, it’ll set you back a hefty $85.99.
The Ding Dong David Statue For Colleges, Bars, and Bathrooms – $1500.00
This is a peculiar eBay listing for sure. Advertised as a “novelty item for fun-loving adults,” the Ding Dong David promises tons of cheeky laughs for those daring enough to take a peak. They tell the buyer to “Place David in the bathroom (girls or boys.) They can’t help but peek and touch the button that says: “Do NOT Touch.”
What happens after someone presses David’s hidden button is for the buyer to discover on their own. In the description, they add: “By purchasing a Ding Dong David, you are hereby releasing us from any and all liability for any embarrassment caused to your patrons and for any spikes in customer purchases as they find themselves in the festive atmosphere that seems to go with the Ding Dong David phenomenon.” Color us intrigued.
The Black and White 19-Inch Zebra TV – $10,000
Most of us haven’t seen a black and white television box for the longest time. Thankfully, one eBay seller gifted the world by posting his stripey Zebra TV on eBay and offered it up for grabs. But it’s clearly a significant item for them considering how they priced the electrical item at a whopping $10,000.
It’s not just any TV, you see. This one-of-a-kind entertainment unit comes complete with a stuffed zebra that encases the television. We can’t understand if it was meant for a jungle-themed kid’s bedroom or a retro enthusiast. Perhaps it’s a custom-made piece, made possible thanks to some kid’s stuffed toy.
The Eight Inch Laced-Up Hair Glove – $25.80
Whoever thought getting a professional model to wear the hair glove obviously didn’t account for just how bizarre this item really is. We can’t imagine anyone wanting to purchase this item, especially not at the high price of $25.80. Just what purpose exactly does this laced-up hairband serve?
Unfortunately, we’re yet to fully understand. The best we can come up with is thinking that this corset-like accessory is good at keeping long hair out of your face. But the real question is, is the laced-up hair glove worth the time it must take to adequately put it on? Doubtful.
The Lifelike Under-Knee Foot Mannequin – $279.00
We offer our sincerest apologies for exposing you to this eBay listing. What you have before you are a pair of silicone feet, unattached to any other mannequin part. We shudder to think about who might be at the receiving end of this delivery package. Which, in itself, wouldn’t be cheap at almost $300.00.
It’s made especially creepy by the props in the photo. The glass of wine in the background, the suggestively positioned roses, and the discarded pearl necklace make us think we know exactly why someone might loosen their purse strings for this listing. And I think we’ll leave it at that.
The Heavy Duty Mesh Cat Grooming Restraint Bag – $69.89
Don’t be alarmed – no animals were harmed in the making of this eBay listing. This bizarre cat bag was described as providing adequate restraint to your beloved pet for when they need to be groomed, bathed, or have their nails attended to. In theory, it sounds like a useful product.
But in reality, this product looks a lot more questionable. Mainly because you’d be treated like a total outcast if you rock up to the groomers or the vet with your cat in a specialized cat bag. And considering how you’d have to shell out up to $69.89 for the pleasure, it’s probably best to just scroll past this listing.
The Amish Woman With Open Closed Eyes Iron Door Knocker – $25.45
This isn’t a prop from the set of some horror film. It’s a legitimate vintage door knocker of an Amish woman with “open closed eyes.” Produced by Wilton, this cast iron door knocker is guaranteed to haunt your dreams and those of anyone who comes a-knocking.
One Instagram user simply wrote “cursed” in the comments of this eBayBae post, and we couldn’t agree more. We don’t know what about this unique door knocker is more terrifying – the eternal smile or the “open closed eyes.” Let’s hope this is the first and last time we ever come across the Amish woman door knocker.
The Rare Antique Wooden Wine Bottle Shaped Liquor Cabinet – $6050.00
Perhaps this eBay listing will appeal to the wine connoisseur in you. It’s an antique wooden liquor cabinet in the novelty shape of a wine bottle, and it’s over two meters tall. You might think this was a one-off that was carefully crafted by some passionate carpenter, but one the eBayBae’s commenters wrote: “lol we have one of these in my house.”
“Can i buy the man next to it,” wrote another follower, but our attention is somewhere else. We’re most concerned about the confusing layout inside the cabinet. From what we can see, there’s only room to fit four wine bottles with ample room for wine glasses. That’s a lot of wasted space for only housing a handful of bottles!
The Adidas Originals Jeremy Scott Teddy Bear All Over Pants – $2,995
You’ll be happy to hear that there’s actually some context to this bizarre eBay listing. It was actually produced by sportswear company Adidas in collaboration with fashion designer and creative director Jeremy Scott, who’s known for his weird and wacky creations. That doesn’t make this any less unsettling, though.
Someone on Instagram commented, “It’s so rave ready,” and we couldn’t agree more. Especially since you’re meant to be more minimal on top if the photo is anything to go by. The stuffed toys sewn onto the pants make it seem like it’s children’s party attire, but the topless model gives it that x-rated edge. A very confusing fashion statement.
The Hand-Made Folk Art Inspired Spiked Shoes – $775.00
“Birkenstock’s can take a hike,” wrote someone under eBayBae’s Instagram post about these shoes. These spiky sandals look like they’re rivaling Crocs when it comes to ugly shoes, but there’s a very good reason for it. The seller wrote in the item description of this listing: “This outrageous pair of spiked shoes may be the most striking gardening tools we’ve ever seen.”
They continued: “They were made to aerate a lawn: by walking around in them, air and water flow to the grass roots is improved.” We’ve never seen a gardener wearing something like these. They’re made of one and a 1/4 inch thick planks with six-inch nails driven through them, turning them into something of a weapon. Proceed with caution.
The Vibra-Finger Professional Gum Massager For Personal Use – $350.00
They say every second-hand item has a story. But we hate to think what might be the story with this one. The Vibra-Finger is marketed as being a “professional gum massager,” but we have our doubts. Like it says right on the front of the box so no one can miss it, “For Personal Use.”
Back in the 1950s, Dentists actually recommended using the gum massager. They included instructions in the box, which read: “You will experience a most sensational invigorating and stimulating feeling, which is a wonderful morning bracer. You can use your Gum Massager as often as you desire.” Relax, Vibra-Finger.
The Vintage Upcycled Mid Century Dining Table Covered In Checkerboard Astro Turf – $800.00
There’s nothing like taking a perfectly good piece of household furniture and turning it into something that’s virtually unusable. We can’t imagine what the seller thought the purpose behind this “upcycled” vintage mid-century dining table was, all we know is that it never should have been created.
Looking at the comments under eBayBae’s Instagram post of this listing, it’s clear that nobody else understands it either. What’s possibly even more shocking is this price tag – the seller was starting bids at $400.00, not including another $400.00 for shipping!
The Transparent Dog Umbrella With Built-in Leash – $67.94
Why should we be the only ones protected from the elements? This product argues for the rights of dogs, and if they really are man’s best friend they should be treated like it. You can buy your pooch a leash with a built-in umbrella on eBay, for those rainy day walks.
The umbrella isn’t supported by the dog. It’s actually just hovering above them and supported by the walker. Honestly, we have to praise their ingenuity for bringing something new to the market. But at the steep price of $67.94, who would be willing to purchase it?
The Banana-Shaped Drinking Flask In Stainless Steel – $41.46
This eBay item is perfect for those of us with a secret dependency on alcohol. It’s a banana-shaped hip flask that cleverly conceals the beverage inside – at least that’s what the seller is hoping you’ll think. It’s lined in stainless steel with a shiny yellow plastic outer cover, just like a real banana!
The banana flask holds 148ml of whichever poison you choose, which isn’t a great deal. Maybe this item is best used for when you’re trying to sneak some vodka shots into a club, so you don’t need as large of a capacity. Bouncers would never turn you away from a high-fiber diet.
The Mohair Green Fuzzy Grinch Gloves – $106.00
We feel itchy just looking at this picture. These medium green fuzzy gloves were on sale on the online marketplace for a large sum of $106.00. Are they meant to keep your hands warm in the winter? Yes, in theory. But they’re modeled after the Grinch’s own furry green hands, and we imagine that fur sheds like crazy.
They were created by a brand called SUPERTANYA, an online fashion boutique that specialized in hand-knitted mohair sweaters and cardigans. Why they thought these would be a big hit is beyond us, but we have to admit they’ve received rave reviews from customers online.
The Unisex Doberman Winter Hat, Jacket, and Pants – $72.00
It’s a good thing dogs don’t get embarrassed because if they did this get-up would do the trick. One seller thought they could sell their Doberman’s winter attire on eBay, claiming it was unisex and universal. But judging by these photos something tells us that they were stretching the truth.
It’s hilarious how the ears on the winter hat have been carefully stitched to perfection for this Doberman. We’re not even going to address the pink and purple color scheme. For $72.00 though, you get the hat, the jacket, and the pants. Which isn’t too bad of a deal… right?
The Close-Up of Kim Jong-Un’s Face Romper – $124.99
Firstly, we want to know why eBay seemed like the perfect place to sell this clothing item. Secondly, we need to know who this is marketed to. Here we have a men’s romper that’s available for pre-order (again, why eBay?) that has a highly zoomed-in image of Kim Jong-un’s face on it. And we mean all of it.
Someone in the comment section of eBayBae’s Instagram wrote, “That’s insane i want it,” so we guess there really are people out there who this appeals to. It’s not cheap, selling for $124.99, but then again you should ask yourself: can you put a price on fashion?
The Hand-Knitted Mohair Bodysuit – $657.75
Seeing how yetis don’t exist in real life, we’ve found you the next best thing: a hand-knitted bodysuit inspired by yours truly! Well, we don’t know that for certain. But we do know that it’s discounted by 5% and available to order in a variety of knit patterns.
One Instagram user wrote how they wanted one of these for Christmas. But when you take into account the full cost of the item – $657.75 – that 5% discount starts to look pretty insignificant. But just think of all the money you’ll save on going out with friends, considering how no one will want to be seen with you in public.
The Small Animal Harness With Leash – $3.46
This small animal harness was advertised as working with a variety of little creatures, including pet rats. We’ve never seen a pet rat on a leash but hey, there’s a first for everything! And why stop there – maybe they should expand their business and come up with harnesses for other house pets like goldfish or reptiles.
Someone in eBayBae’s Instagram comments wrote: “they’re not really safe for pigs” as “they got delicate spines.” So maybe even if you do have a little guinea pig at home, you should reconsider getting them harness and leash. At least they’re selling it for a reasonable price of $4.00.
The 10k Gold and 80 Carat Diamond Plug – $699.00
When eBayBae posted this listing on Instagram, the comment section was surprisingly practical. One person asked, “how can all of those diamonds cost just $700?” while someone else enquired, “Is it weird that I kinda want it?” There seems to be some confusion as to whether it’s actually a working adapter or whether it’s a bag charm.
And the listing on eBay doesn’t really clarify things. One Instagram user joked “If I’m gonna fry I’m gonna look fresh doing it,” while a different person stated, “I’d get it but I imagine getting a matching adapter would be difficult.” That’s one way of elevating your everyday objects.